Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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