When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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