i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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