someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
vagina is talking i cant
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
