we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
