I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
