Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
