so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
