so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
