dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
