i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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