# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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