What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
