I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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