you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You are a genius and a whore.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
