id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
