I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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