you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
