the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
