i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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