what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
