weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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