The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
