i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This show inspires me to have sex in space
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
