That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
