You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
