Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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