Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it was like eating out sand paper
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
two words...techno handjob
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
