If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
