high people should be assigned attendants
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
