"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
