Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
