you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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