Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All the doctor said was why
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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