it was like his penis was on wheels.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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