Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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