Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
