508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So many bounce houses so little time
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
