ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
