So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
