I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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