roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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