I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
