If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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