He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
