How'd it feel making her break her religion?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
