plz talk dirty to me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
