so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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