i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
