He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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